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Leadership – Lesson 1 – Discipline or Regret

Curt Stowers
May 16, 2025
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The Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret: Your Call

One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from Jim Rohn:

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”

If you’re serious about becoming a better leader, you’d better get comfortable choosing discipline. Regret may show up quietly at first—but it sticks around a lot longer.

Now, some folks believe that leaders are born, not made. I disagree. Leaders are forged in the fire of experience, reflection, hard work, and the determination to grow. Leadership is a journey—and it begins the moment you decide to get better.

Rule #1: Commit to becoming a better leader—on purpose, every day.

You might say, “That sounds good, but where do I start?”
Simple: block time. Just 30 minutes a day.

Spend the first 30 minutes of each morning reviewing your leadership goals. Here’s how to make that time effective:

Your Daily Leadership Practice

Part 1: Look Back
Open your calendar and reflect on the day before.

  • Where did you lead well?

  • Where did you fall short?

  • What habits or reactions got in your way?

  • What situations brought out your best?

The reality is: your days are packed with feedback—you just have to mine it. Without reflection, you’re ignoring some of the most valuable leadership data you have.

Part 2: Look Ahead
Now turn to today’s calendar.

  • What leadership opportunities are on the horizon?

  • Where might you get tripped up?

  • What will you do differently in those moments?

This kind of intentional planning—where you identify when, where, and how to grow—is where the magic happens.

Why Do I Believe in This Process?

Because I’ve lived it.

Let me take you back to my early days at Caterpillar. I was head-down, hyper-focused, delivering results—and proud of it. One day, my boss called me in:

Boss: “I just wanted you to know—two people came by to say you’re doing a great job.”
Me: “Awesome. I try to do my best. Anyway, back to work!”
Boss: “Wait. They also said you’re very focused—but hard to get to know. They like you, but they don’t really know you.”
Me: “That’s fine. I’m here to get stuff done. Not make friends.”
Boss: “You need to work on building relationships. It matters.”
Me: “But I’m doing well! Isn’t that enough?”

Then he asked me how many projects I was working on. I said 10 or 12. He asked how many were going well. I said maybe 6 or 7.

Then came the zinger:
Boss: “How do the people on the struggling projects feel about you?”
Me: “Probably not big fans. But once I fix the problems, they’ll come around.”

He just looked at me and said, “You really need to work on this.”

I wasn’t convinced—but I respected him. So, I called my dad. His advice?
“Go read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.”

So I did. I read it. Took notes. Thought it was all fluff—but I told my boss I’d try it anyway.

What happened next? I reviewed those notes every single day for three years. Over time, my behaviors changed. And, surprise—I finally understood what my boss was trying to teach me.

The Bottom Line

Leadership isn’t about checking boxes or running faster than everyone else. It’s about being intentional with how you show up—for your team, your peers, and your mission.

If you do nothing else, do this:

Block 30 minutes every morning to reflect on your leadership goals.
Look back. Look ahead. And make deliberate choices about who you want to be.

Do that for 90 days, and I guarantee—you will be a better leader.

ACTION ITEM 1: Block 30 minutes each morning. Set a recurring calendar invite right now. Use that time to review your leadership aspirations and plan your growth.