Leadership Lesson #7: Deal with the "Problem Child"—Now, Not Later

Some leadership lessons feel strangely familiar—like déjà vu from parenting. And few are more relatable than the challenge of dealing with a "problem child." Except this time, the tantrum is happening in a conference room, not the kids’ menu section.

Picture this:

You’re out to dinner. It's a nice spot, until that kid shows up. You know the one—throwing food, screaming, whining, even hitting their parents. Every table in the restaurant is painfully aware of the situation. The parents, clearly worn down, keep trying to appease the child with soft words, new distractions, and repeated pleas.

Your friend leans over and mutters, “If that were my kid, there’s no way in hell they’d get away with that behavior.”

Fair. Logical. Obvious.

Fast forward to Monday morning.

That same friend is now back at work. And lo and behold, their own version of the "problem child"—let’s call him Johnny PITA (PITA = pain in the...you get it)—is once again derailing meetings, ignoring feedback, irritating teammates, and generally doing what Johnny does best: creating chaos.

And what does our newly-minted manager do?

Placate. Avoid. Rationalize.

The same leader who was ready to discipline a stranger’s kid at dinner now can’t bring themselves to deal with the disruptive team member in their own department. Meanwhile, the rest of the team rolls their eyes, loses respect, and starts to disengage. Leadership, they think, is asleep at the wheel.

The Standard Excuses

We’ve heard them all:

• “I’m still new to the role.”

• “Johnny just joined—he needs time to adjust.”

• “It wouldn’t be fair to act too quickly.”

Sure, context matters. But here's the truth bomb: if someone is actively harming the team dynamic, delaying action is not compassion—it’s avoidance. And leadership is not about avoiding hard things. It’s about doing what needs to be done, even when it’s uncomfortable.

The Rule That Changes Everything

Rule #7: Address performance issues quickly and completely.

Without intervention, the problem won't magically disappear—it will deepen. And with every day you wait, your credibility shrinks. Eventually, the team stops blaming Johnny and starts blaming you.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about harshness. It’s about responsibility. The moment someone joins your team—or you step into a leadership role—you’re accountable for performance, behavior, and results. That includes dealing with the Johnny PITAs of the world.

It’s Not as Hard as You Think

Here’s the surprise: the hardest part isn’t the conversation itself—it’s the mental marathon you’ll run beforehand.

You’ll rehearse it in your head a hundred times. What if they cry? What if they yell? What if HR needs to step in?

Take a breath. That almost never happens.

In over 20 years working with professionals, I’ve seen it just once—once—where the individual was genuinely unaware they were underperforming. Most of the time, they know. They’re just waiting for someone to finally say it out loud.

When you approach the conversation with clarity, respect, and a clear plan, you’re not just confronting an issue—you’re unlocking progress.

The Power of the Conversation

Your "Come to Jesus" talk doesn’t need to be fire and brimstone. It should be grounded, direct, and respectful. Outline your expectations. Set up a SMART improvement plan. Define the consequences of continued underperformance. And then—this is key—follow through.

As soon as the meeting ends, you’ll feel the relief. The weight lifts. The fog clears. You did your job. And you did it with integrity.

That’s leadership.

ACTION ITEM #7:

If you've got a Johnny PITA on your team, it's time. Schedule the meeting. Clarify your expectations. Create a SMART action plan. Spell out the consequences. Follow through, consistently and fairly. Your team—and your future self—will thank you.