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Sometimes it helps to get a little dose of encouragement—along with a good cup of coffee!—to start the day. Today we discuss "validation."
Hopefully the message below will help you get off to a good start for the week. Please feel free to forward the newsletter on to others that you think would benefit from the content.
If ever there were a word that I wish I had discovered earlier in my life it is “validation.”
I am wired as a “facts and data” guy. When someone brings a situation up to me, I go immediately to the 6 Sigma methodology of define, measure, analyze, improve and control (DMAIC). Put another way, it’s all about (i) what is the problem, (ii) what are the possible solutions, and (iii) what is the best solution. Then one day I came across what has to be one of the most widely watched videos in history (almost 19 million views on YouTube as of this blog post):
Validation is a powerful interpersonal dynamic.
I have shared this video with dozens of people, and it always gets a positive response—and, it always has folks acknowledging that it illustrates (the opposite of) one of the most powerful interpersonal dynamics that exists in the world. YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS VIDEO!
In the video a young couple is struggling to connect. The husband does NOT get it! His wife is looking for him to acknowledge that the struggle she is facing and the pain she is experiencing is real. She does NOT want him to fix a single thing. She simply wants him to acknowledge that her current reality exists. She wants to be heard and NOT fixed.
What does Validation look like?
Validation is about expressing (i) I see you, (ii) I accept that you are where you are, (iii) I know that where you are is creating a set of feelings that are shaping your experience of reality, and (iv) I am OK with all of that.
Validation and DMAIC
These four things are just about as diametrically opposed to the DMAIC methodology as they could be—hence, my (prior) total incompetence when it comes to validation. (Side note: You CAN, however, use the DMAIC methodology to address your incompetence in the area of validation and actually become reasonably competent by leveraging DMAIC!)
That brings us to this week’s question:
- Are you providing validation to those closest to you?
Thanks for sharing a bit of your time with me this Monday morning.
Have a great week!
About MMM: Each week I publish “Monday Morning Motivation” in the hopes that at least one person will find a bit of inspiration and that this inspiration will have a positive impact on their life. My motivation comes from experiences, reading, sermons, and discussions.
Photo credit: Everton Vila on unsplash.com
Blog post from this past week:
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